Chocolate!

You can take the child out of Switzerland, but can you take a Swiss's love of Chocolate out of them? Apparently not.

This afternoon Angelina wasn't agreeing to her nap (so what is new). After some debate (a few times to bed), I put her in the bed and said she couldn't come out until I came to get her.

I went outside to work.

30 minutes or so later I decided to check on her. I quietly open the door to hear a very sweet, somewhat sad and scared "Mommy?" I walk over to her. "Mommy, I made a mess."

Mess indeed. (which, by the way, is her favourite phrase) She had a chocolate ball (she'd had it earlier, wrapped in a cool globe-like paper, she didn't know it was chocolate, she thought it was just a ball). In her hot little hands it melted....

all over her face, her clothes, her hands, the bed......

"Maman, Mouse wants chocolate."

She's getting smart. She knows she can't have chocolate, esp. at night. So the other day, as she was carrying her mouse, she said "Maman, Mouse wants chocolate." Hah! Maman is still smarter and not falling for that. I wonder how long it will last until she outsmarts me?

She's not really into dolls. She has the idea, but can take them or leave them. Mouse, however, she loves (as well as tiger and baby jaguar). She sleeps with all 3 every night now. The other day she wanted to carry mouse, but he had to be swaddled in her blanket and she carried it like a sling. She kept hugging it to her saying, "Shhhh, Mouse, don't cry, it's ok." She also lays Mouse in bed and says "Go to sleep now Mouse!"

She also has a Raggedy Ann doll with whom she has a love/hate relationship. Well, not hate, but she doesn't always love it. Last night (with Papa gone) she was in the big bed fighting sleep and said "Maman, Mouse is scared of Raggy Ann." I asked if the doll was scary? She said no, but Mouse was a little scared.... I guess we're at the stage of "transference" - is that the right term? Where she uses others to explain her feelings?




On another note, she still loves the camera. More photography skills:
This was after about the 4th picture she took of Chakapu. Chakapu finally looked up. They also have a love/hate relationship...


On a different note, we were listening to PRESIDENT Obama's inauguration speech on the way home today, and I said to Angelina "We have a new president now." She said "Presents? I want PRESENTS!" I said "No, a PRE-SI-DENT" but she wasn't having it. She wanted PRESENTS! I guess it is kind of a present...

Persistence

"Even as infants they are incredibly determined and strong. They push where other kids don't push. They demand more than other kids demand. And they never give up.It is impossible to ignore them or distract them."

Sound familiar? Sound like a certain little someone whose name begins with A?

Tonight my cousin Bob Slicker was in town, a surprise visit. Wonderful visit, although too short. We went out to dinner. Angelina was distracted by the mini ATM machine in the corner - she thought it was a game. Only she couldn't reach. She kept insisting on having the high chair - this from the child who refuses to sit in one. Took me awhile to figure it out: she wanted to use the high chair to climb up to reach the ATM buttons...

I said NO, she went back. I said NO again, she went back. She walked away with me for awhile. As soon as I let my guard down, she sprinted over and tried again. Papa said No. And again and again and again. After lord knows how long, I stood back, just to see what she'd do. I could see her from a distance, but she didn't know I was watching. She tried climbing up. With no one to stop her, she pushed herself further. But she couldn't quite do it. She climbed back down and walked over to the table.

And that was that.

Now, normally I stick to NO means NO. And I never did say Yes, I just ignored her for a few minutes. After all her persistence, she tried it, it didn't work - or maybe it just wasn't fun if Maman wasn't standing there telling her NO.

Persistence can be a good thing. When I was about 12, my diving coach said to me that while another diver might be able to learn a dive in 10 tries, she'd stop at 8, whereas it might take me 20 but I'd go to 25. And that's why I'd always be a better diver. Persistence. I see it in Frederic, as he works on a project. So she gets it from both sides.

Alas, in a 2.5 year old, persistence = challenge and stress for Maman and Papa. So how to harness it? We need to learn when to say Yes, and save the Nos for when it really matters. Teach her that persistence is a good thing when you're trying to reach a goal, but not if that goal is convincing Maman you should have ANOTHER chocolate.

And thanks Bob, for visiting us.


And that picture is the famous "chocolate fridge", also used to store wine, but at 2.5 all she cares about is the dark stuff...when she couldn't open it, she pulled a chair over to stand on so she could reach the keys. She didn't know exactly where they were (hidden behind the picture frame) but she was feeling around everywhere for them.

If you look closely at that picture, you can see she still has a chocolate ball in her mouth as she's trying to get more.

Our Spirited Child

I don't like labels. I never have. Don't label Me. Don't label my kid.

But I discovered a label I like : Spirited Child . Yes, I think this describes her best.

I'd heard of this book long before I ever had kids. I hoped I'd never need it, but it turns out I do.
I've only read the first chapter, but it describes Angelina perfectly:

More.

More intense, more sensitive, more perceptive, more persistent, more energetic. MORE. She is definitely more of everything.

She's amazing and wonderful and full of life. She has the power to light up a room with her smile and her charm. She walks around saying "Hi" to everyone. Random people want to be by her because she makes them smile. She dances around to music in her head. She is fascinated by all around her and explores everything

Her laugh is infectious.

Her screams are infectious too, at least for Maman who usually ends up screaming as well...

When I was pregnant and didn't know the sex, everyone, including random people on the street, told me I was having a boy. My very astute friend Kyle said I was having a girl. Why was he so sure? He said it was my karma to have a girl: a very strong willed, intense, independent girl. Damn he was right (he also won the betting pool for the day & time of birth and sex). But what he didn't tell me was that not only would she be like me, she'd also be like her Papa. Double whammy!

I think she has the best of both of us - those traits which make us happy successful adults. Alas, those traits are rather challenging in a child...

So I've asked my parents how they managed with me and they don't have many answers (I think being the 7th child meant there were enough other siblings to keep me occupied and mostly out of trouble, tar episode excluded). Same for Fredo's Dad. no suggestions. So we're on our own.

Furthermore, I was convinced it was just my bad parenting, because she is a perfect Angel for everyone else: Nana (her babysitter) has only had to scold her 2x in 1.5 years!; Nanny claims Angelina does everything she says with no fuss, including going to sleep; She listens to "Gela" (our neighbor) with no problem (though that may be changing...). But me? Noooooooo. It's like she sees me and she goes beserk. I'm now learning this is normal. She's smart enough to recognize there are some people she has to be 'good' with, and that she can test her limits and push with Maman (and to some extent Papa) because we love her unconditionally.

Or something.

Even though I'm an avid reader, devoured a ton of pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding books, I haven't rushed to the parenting books so much. I wanted to use my own instincts and not be tempted by "it says in the book..." I have a few, which I turned to in desperation (The Happiest Baby on the Block, The No Cry Sleep Solution), though I haven't found them that useful. Whether this book will be truly useful remains to be seen. At the very least I can go to sleep tonight knowing I'm not alone.

And hope that my angel manages to sleep until morning, for a change.



[tonight the persistence was Chocolate. %$#&@Swiss genes! We keep our(Fredo's) chocolate in the wine cabinet. Locked. Before bed she ran to it, turning the light on, saying "Chocolate! Chocolate!" which turned into shouts and whines and cries. No. No. No. No. I would love to just put it somewhere else. Hide it. It's like dangling a bone in front of a dog. I regret she was ever exposed to the evil stuff. I can happily live without it, but I'm not Swiss.]

I gave birth to a choco-holic

How did that happen? Has to be the Swiss genes, certainly not mine. I like the stuff ok but if I never had it again I wouldn't be too disappointed. Angelina, however, has a nose for chocolate. She can find it anywhere. She now knows where it's "hidden" (locked in the wine fridge) and likes to turn on the light staring at it longingly.

The other night we had friends over for dinner and of course Frédéric brought out the chocolate. Then she saw it. She kept climbing up and sneaking away pieces. And what did she ask for as soon as she woke up on Sunday morning? "Maman! Chocolate please!"

Maybe it's something in the chocolate?

Or I'm a bad mommy.

At least, that's how I felt.



A couple of days after Christmas we went to MediaMarkt to find some French CDs (it's kind of like Best Buy, which I hate, but anyway...). Of course it's packed. Angelina was enjoying pulling all the cds off the shelves, so we split up - first Frédéric took her away while I looked (trying to find some kids' music in French for the car), then it was his turn to search. So Angelina and I were over in the TV section. Now, Angelina isn't into the TV much. It's useless as a babysitter (not that we've ever tried ;-)). Seeing all those screens, though, she was enthralled. She couldn't take her eyes off of them. But that wasn't enough, she had to TOUCH them, she had to run around as much as possible, try climbing up on the stands, you get the idea.

The place was full of kids +/- 6 months of Angelina's age. ALL of them sitting quietly in their parents arms, or sitting calmly on the floor watching the TVs with cartoons showing. Of course I felt all the other parents staring at me, and in my paranoia thinking they're thinking "Stupid American! Can't control her kid!" (of course maybe they were feeling sorry for me too) After the bazillionth "NO!" followed by the bazillionth time pulling her away, I took her outside (no matter it was -4C).

But how do they do it? I'm convinced there's something in the chocolate they give them. There's got to be. I don't think Angelina is a particularly active child, at least not anymore than most kids her age.... Or is it just me? How many times can you yell "NO!"?! The sling used to work to calm her down. Now it lasts about 2 seconds before she wants to get out and run around.

(Oddly enough, she actually is pretty good at responding to NO normally. Today she started opening cupboards that are off-limits. A simple "No. Close that door Now" worked - of course she kept opening it and would look at me and as soon as I said it she'd close it again.....)