The Witching Hour

5:30PM

What is it about that time? When Angelina was smaller - about 6-8weeks or so, she hit this patch where my sweet little baby turned into a Screaming Demon. Every day at 5:30 PM or so. It lasted a couple of hours. We did everything, nurse, sing, change her, nurse some more, sleep... didn't help. Eventually that passed and though she still had her Screaming Demon moments, they weren't so consistent.


Fast forward a year and a half. She's almost 20 months old, and the 5:30PM Witching Hour has returned. Everyday about 5:30 she goes ballistic...our poor neighbors, the screaming they have to hear! We thought it was something about us, as that was when we got home from daycare, but no. Twice this week we picked her up at 2pm and she was just fine until 5:30, and then SHRIEK!

Is she hungry? I try feeding her and she doesn't want anything.
Does she need to be changed? I check and she's dry.
Does she need another nap? Maybe...but fat chance getting her to lay down
Does she want to nurse? Probably - I'm trying the 'don't offer, don't refuse' technique, but really trying to avoid it at that hour. She was fine without for many months, just nursing before bed and in the morning, but she seems to want more lately. I have given in occasionally, but it doesn't really seem to help. She just enters into her Screaming Demon phase after nursing.

What else could it possibly be?!

But she is the cutest, sweetest, loveliest kid ever! Really! Once she gets past the Witching Hour, she cuddles and laughs and kisses and laughs some more and you can't resist her.

UPDATE: The last few days she hasn't done this, as she's been having so much fun playing outside. Cross your fingers

Hat Girl

This, from the kid who last summer and the few cold days this winter refused to wear any hat. It wasn't even cold! It was about 80F (~27C), but she found this wooly hat and would not be happy if it wasn't on her head.

Good thing she's so dang cute!

"What's your parenting style?"

Um, it's called trial and error?

Seriously, what a weird question. Not that anyone actually asks this in real life. The internet has been a wonderful resource, especially as a new mom, but you also get silly questions like "What is your parenting style?" What the heck does that mean?

I've been described as "All Earth Momma" or "La Leche Woman" by friends - childless friends. Yes we:
1. Breastfeed (still,at 19 months)
2. Co-sleep
3. Made our own baby food (no jarred stuff, Angelina was already a food snob and wouldn't eat it anyway)
4. Homebirth (or at least try to)
5. Didn't do Scream-It-Out (ahem, "self-soothe") - well, at least in the early days.... Ok so I did in desperation and it didn't work.
6. Cloth diaper (at least at home, we use 7th Generation disposables for daycare and travel)
7. Carry her in a sling (don't you dare call it 'babywearing' - she's not an accessory like earings! I figured the Karen women did it, I could too.)

Some would take all that and give us a label. No thank you. I don't do labels, and I'm pretty sure Angelina has made it clear she does not fit neatly into a box. We've done all that because it's what worked (or at least tried to) and felt right, not because it was part of some parenting checklist.

Does it make me a better mom? No. Just a mom trying to figure out what's best for my daughter (and the environment).

Her first "grounding"

At home and at daycare. Do the Terrible Twos start at 19 months?!


Last weekend we were working outside - me in the garden and hanging laundry, Fredo in the garage re-doing wiring (i.e. dangerous!). Angelina would not stop going into the garage standing right under Papa, no matter how many times I shouted "Danger!" and told her to get out. She understands from our voices if not the actual words that she's to stop what she's doing, because she looks at us with her sly smile, but then she goes back to it....

I had no choice but to bring her inside (absolute torture for my daughter, the way she stood at the back screen you'd think she was in jail) for her own safety. Fredo said "Her first grounding!" I finally managed to distract her and she was ok.

On Monday (a holiday) she wouldn't stop trying to push buttons on the TV , despite all my best efforts, so I made her sit in the chair. Lord you would have though I made her sit on fire....she last 30 secs, max. I realize there's only so much a 19-month old can understand.

Today Fredo said she got in trouble at the babysitter's. She had to sit in a chair (which is blocked in like a high chair but lower) for throwing a toy across the room, despite being warned not to. Her daycare provider (DCP) was very apologetic, but Fredo wisely said "No, that's ok. Give us tips!" I confess when he told me I laughed...I should not. I am glad our DCP uses positive discipline as much as possible, and at the same time is not happy about having to use it at all. I know she loves Angelina almost as much as we do (because really, no one can love her as much as we do, it's not humanly possible!). But I can also picture her doing it, and then looking at you with this grin in her eyes that melts your heart at the same time drives you bonkers.

What's the most annoying? That whenever I share this character of hers with friends or family, they just laugh and say "hmmm, I wonder where she gets that from? Surely you're not surprised?!" And they don't mean Frederic!

The Bottle Diaries

In the US, the powers that be (other mothers, pediatricians, dentists, grandmothers, busy-bodies...) all make a big fuss about how a child should be "Off the bottle by 12 months" because it's bad for tooth development and cavities.

In Switzerland, kids have bottles (with milk, with juice, with tea, with sirop) until 4 or 5 at least. No one seems to think twice.

Who's right? Does it matter? The dental theory does have some scientific basis, but it doesn't seem like all Swiss kids have mouths full of bad teeth and cavities (and those that do, I'd blame it more on the chocolate which often starts at 6 months!).



As you can see, Angelina has a bottle. The funny thing is this is the kid who absolutely refused a bottle at first, so much so I was in a panic starting daycare that she'd starve. She eventually learned to take one, but took the bare minimum - no more than 8oz/day on a good day. Somewhere around 12-13 months she flat out refused any more bottles, which is just as well as I was keen to stop pumping (she also refused cow's milk - and goat's milk, rice milk, soy milk...she wanted mommy's milk or nothing). Lack of cow's milk wasn't a big deal since she ate tons of yoghurt and cheese. Fast forward to 16.5 months, she gets croup, stops eating/drinking anything and only nurses. As she was finally recovering, for some reason I gave her a bottle with cow's milk. She took it, and wanted more. I figured if it was a way to get milk into her (and maybe nurse a bit less) I wasn't going to complain.

Now, at 19.5 months, Papa will give her a bottle of cow's milk in the middle of the night if she refuses to go back to sleep, and occasionally I've give her one in the morning if she hasn't nursed all night. Probably averages out to about 2-3x per week. She's not particularly attached to it, but the way some people talk you'd think I was destroying her development.

As you can also see, she likes her sippy cup just fine and drinking from a regular cup or with a straw she can do very well. I've no worried about her development in that regard. It's just another container to drink liquid, one she prefers on occasion.

Ready to work!

Just give her a hammer and she's ready...



It was yucky out today so we didn't do any work on the house, but Angelina sure wanted to. She found my hat and gloves, put them on and proceeded to strut around the house looking for projects to do. Alas, with the big gloves she couldn't pick anything up and got rather furious about that...

She thinks it's summer

Sure, it's warmer here than in most of the northern hemisphere, but it's not like it's that warm at 70F (21C) in the sun. That doesn't make any difference to Angelina. Lately she runs for the hose so when we water the trees, she has to run into the spray. Today she was SOAKED! And shivering, but she was having so much fun.

Then I dried her off (after fighting with her a bit, she wanted to stay wet!) and put on a dry top...couldn't get as far as changing the pants. Then stupidly I went to the front to turn on the sprinkler a bit....well, Angelina didn't think it was dumb, she thought it was an invitation!

A Mind of Her Own

She's an Independent little thing. I know one day that will be a good thing, but right now, well.....let's just say it's a challenge.


She loves, LOVES being outdoors. These days when we get home she refuses to go inside. She wants to walk around the yard, over and over again. But our yard doesn't have grass, it's dirt and leaves and nails and roofing material and wood and assorted not so safe things. So that means Mommy and Papa are following her around like a hawk hoping she doesn't fall on a nail or pick up something that will hurt her. (Yes, I know, we need to get it picked up, but we've either been away or sick every weekend since we worked on the garage).

Tonight when we were outside she heard the kids next door inside, so she walked over to the fence and babbled on til they came out to say hi.

It Takes a Village....

In my family's view, we live 'all alone.' Yes, we're far from blood relatives who would love to see Angelina daily. No, we don't have grandparents nearby who would happily take Angelina for a few hours while Fredo and I have a date, or whom we wouldn't hesitate to call at 3am if we needed help.

But we do have our village.

When I needed to call someone at 3am to come take care of Angelina while I went to the ER, I had a list of people I knew wouldn't hesitate to come over in an instant.



When I needed someone to pick her up from daycare, and then keep her overnight while I had emergency surgery, I immediately called our great neighbors, but I had my list handy if they weren't available. In fact, afterwards I had so many friends say "You should have called us. Don't hesitate to call if there's ever a next time!" I hope there never is, but I know we have plenty of options.



Yes, I miss her during the day, but I don't think she misses me one bit! She walks in to her daycare and runs over to the kids and toys. She laughs and plays all day. Her daycare provider, Mrs. Lopez, spends the day teaching her things - and teaching us first time parents a lot too. When I worried Angelina wasn't developing at the right pace, Mrs. Lopez assured me she was well within normal range. Having 'helped raise' kids in daycare for 20+ years, she knew what she was talking about. When Angelina finally did start walking, Mrs. Lopez worked with her to get it right. We do all those things too, but we don't have 20+ years of child-raising experience behind us. When we had to take Angelina to the ER because we thought she hurt her arm, Mrs. Lopez was up all night worrying about her.

We do miss our family, and we make as much effort as possible to see them and for Angelina to grow up "knowing" her cousins, if mainly via in pictures, email and phone.

But yes, it does take a village to raise a child. I want my child part of that village. I want her to learn from the villagers, not just from Mommy and Papa.

The Allegrini Cousins

She Walks!

or make that - RUNS!

Yes, I know she's incredibly 'behind', or at least that's what everyone says. The reality is, according to just about every baby book I've read (and that's a lot), though the average is 12 months, the normal range is 7-18 months. That is, her doctors (and officially me) were not going to worry about her lack of walking until she was 18 months.

Well, on Christmas Eve, at 17 months and 21 days, she took off and we haven't been able to stop her since.


She started pulling up in October/November, by Thanksgiving (16.5 months) she was walking with help. It wasn't til Christmas Eve, probably because she wanted to chase around her cousins, that she really began to go for it on her own. Until recently she was still resorting to scooting if she really wanted to get somewhere fast, bt thanks to her babysitter who wouldn't let her scoot when she showed she could walk, now she just runs. She still wobbles a bit, but now at almost 19 months, she's a real walker!

Mommy can stop worry now.

And today she said "See you later!"



(I can't figure out how to change the orientation of films, sorry)

Silly Girl!

From these you can see Angelina's personality of late. She's full of laughs and tricks. She loves to play little games with you.




Fun with static electricity....



And a game that provided endless hours of entertainment: putting walnuts into the whiskey container. Spilling them out. Putting them back in again.

A scary time

This post is about Mommy, one Angelina still has, thankfully. Perhaps that's a bit melodramatic but I was sure scared. I decided to write this here as a warning, should anyone have similar symptoms, don't hesitate to be an advocate for yourself. Medical professionals aren't always right.

We returned to the US on New Year's Eve and I went to the ER on New Years Day following 3 weeks of bleeding and a couple of days of cramping. I had a positive pg test and though I figured I was miscarrying, I was concerned about an ectopic as this was a lot different than the last miscarriage. The nurse in the ER made me feel like an idiot for even going and said "It's not ectopic, it would hurt more. We don't have an OBGYN here so you have to follow up elsewhere anyway." Ok, I knew that but I was hoping maybe you could verify it wasn't ectopic as today's a holiday and the OB's office is closed. They did a sonogram. 5 hours later the nurse comes in and says "you're out of here." Ok...how about explaining what's up? "Oh yeah, you have an HCG 165, so you were pregnant but no intrauterine pregnancy so you're miscarrying. Bye." Frederic left for London the next day.

I scheduled a follow up with my new OB the following week. On Thursday night (1/3) I had major cramping again. On Friday morning they said to go ahead and come in that day. The OB reviewed the report from the ER (but not the actual sonogram) and took the time to explain to me why he wasn't sure if it was ectopic but didn't rule it out. He did recommend a blood test  and said we'd do another sono if the HCG levels rose. I felt relieved after the explanation as it made sense, except I was still cramping.

Saturday I was in pain all day but by evening it was letting up. I thought the miscarriage was finally running its course. Then at midnight it hit me like a ton of bricks - massive, sharp, burning pain at one point, then spreading out. I have a very high pain tolerance but this had me doubled over. I couldn't stand, I couldn't lie down, all I could do was kneel hunched over. I was in tears. I finally called Frederic in England, just because I needed a sympathetic voice. By about 2:30am he convinced me to go to the ER. Problem was Angelina. So he contacted our friends Ann and Garth and they came over at 3am to take care of Angelina while I went to the ER.

After 2 hours I saw the triage nurse who said "They already did a sono, they're not going to see anything more. You can wait 5 more hours if you want though they won't find anything wrong." After another hour, no sleep in 24 hours, totally worn out and realizing I'll be there all day and they likely wouldn't even bother with another sonogram, and the pain was letting up, I decided to come home without being seen at all. Meanwhile Fredo had been debating flying back, I told him not to, as apparently 'nothing was wrong.'

Monday the OB called to say my HCG levels had risen, and I should come in for another blood test. I told them about the weekend cramping so they scheduled me for a sonogram on Thursday. The pain had remained dull and constant. On Wednesday I was feeling a bit dizzy. I took Angelina to her doctor's appt, then went into work about noon. I thought I was light headed because I hadn't had lunch. I'd also had a pain in my neck/shoulder since the night before. I knew those were both signs of ectopic pregnancy but had convinced myself it was all in my head. As the dizziness got worse,I debated calling the OB or waiting one more day til my scheduled appt.

Being a researcher, I had done my research. Many medical professionals hate when patients say "I read..." Well, I knew the symptoms and had read that ectopics occur in ~ 1 in 2000 pregnancies, and ~9-13% are fatal, most following a trip to the ER where the woman was diagnosed with a miscarriage. I really didn't want to be part of that 9-13%.

When one of my staff asked "Are you alright?" I realized I looked as bad as I felt, and called the OB who told me to come in right away. I called our neighbor to pick up Angelina from daycare, knowing I'd be late.

Sure enough, my BP was ~70/50. I run low anyway, but this was very low. They did a sonogram and it was glaringly obvious there was a mass in the tube. I was no longer in limbo and he set up a surgery for an hour later. No waiting. It was urgent. I called Frederic who was now in France, asked Angela to take Angelina overnight, and made a bunch of other calls while the OB walked me over to the hospital. Though friends offered to come over, there wasn't time, so I went into surgery alone. I was ok until they began prep, and I got massive pains again. The OB was calm, but I heard him tell the nurses to 'hurry up, it may be rupturing now.'

Luckily the tube didn't rupture, I made it thru surgery just fine, I've got a couple of weeks of recovery but all is well. Frederic made it back by Thursday evening, and I was discharged on Friday. I think my OB did everything right, but I am frustrated both with the ER staff and with myself for not fighting harder. I knew something was wrong, but I let myself fall prey to medical staff who just couldn't be bothered.

Moral of the story, if you've made it this far: listen to your body, listen to your gut instincts. Medical professionals aren't omniscient. Good ones recognize that and will work to help solve the problem (as my OB did), the few bad ones out there write you off. Either way, you have to be your own advocate.

On the positive side, Angelina had a blast staying with our neighbors. I don't think she missed me at all.

Food and Drink or Why I love the Swiss

This is just the apero for Christmas Eve dinner, the main course was still to come. Angelina loved the foie gras, like Mommy.


Fredo claims this is just his family, but from hearing around it sounds like fish at least is the standard Swiss Christmas Eve meal. It's "traditional" amongst the Allegrini clan to have "Fondue Chinoise" - yes, Chinese fondue. It's not as weird as it sounds. The Swiss love to cook at the table, or rather have the guests participate in making their food.
They have a big Asian soup tureen that's filled with boiling liquid (usually with vegetables and noodles). There there is a ton of wonderful fresh raw fish of all sorts. You put the fish into a little basket and let it sit in the boiling liquid to cook, then you eat it with an array of sauces (my favourite is the garlic) while the next basket cooks. Yummmm.


There's there's dessert. Of course that's followed by the cheese course and the chocolate course.




And did I mention the wine? One of the useful things about being in an old cottage in a cold country, interesting places to cool wine and beer:





Note, the above photos were taken at 3 different homes, but the idea was the same at each - lots of food and wine! We always return saying we need to give our livers a break (and since I didn't know I was pregnant at the time, I was indeed enjoying the wine).

The Sea of Fog

The entire first week we stayed in L'Abergement where Marcel (Fredo's father) lives, it was foggy and cold. Though the frost on the trees was beautiful, the fog at times was so thick you could barely see in front on you. Indeed one night while driving back from Orbe, Frédéric suddenly made a turn seemingly into nothingness, but really was the road into the village. I was just amazed he knew there was a road there!

Little did I know we only had to drive a few km up the mountain to see the sunshine!



When I remarked it was like looking out over a lake, he said "That's why it's called the 'sea of fog.'"




Angelina enjoyed her walk with Papa!

Père Noel

Angelina is not so sure about this Père Noel guy! Look at her eyeing him.... She's glad she's safe in Megane's arms.

Maybe it's something in the chocolate?

Or I'm a bad mommy.

At least, that's how I felt.



A couple of days after Christmas we went to MediaMarkt to find some French CDs (it's kind of like Best Buy, which I hate, but anyway...). Of course it's packed. Angelina was enjoying pulling all the cds off the shelves, so we split up - first Frédéric took her away while I looked (trying to find some kids' music in French for the car), then it was his turn to search. So Angelina and I were over in the TV section. Now, Angelina isn't into the TV much. It's useless as a babysitter (not that we've ever tried ;-)). Seeing all those screens, though, she was enthralled. She couldn't take her eyes off of them. But that wasn't enough, she had to TOUCH them, she had to run around as much as possible, try climbing up on the stands, you get the idea.

The place was full of kids +/- 6 months of Angelina's age. ALL of them sitting quietly in their parents arms, or sitting calmly on the floor watching the TVs with cartoons showing. Of course I felt all the other parents staring at me, and in my paranoia thinking they're thinking "Stupid American! Can't control her kid!" (of course maybe they were feeling sorry for me too) After the bazillionth "NO!" followed by the bazillionth time pulling her away, I took her outside (no matter it was -4C).

But how do they do it? I'm convinced there's something in the chocolate they give them. There's got to be. I don't think Angelina is a particularly active child, at least not anymore than most kids her age.... Or is it just me? How many times can you yell "NO!"?! The sling used to work to calm her down. Now it lasts about 2 seconds before she wants to get out and run around.

(Oddly enough, she actually is pretty good at responding to NO normally. Today she started opening cupboards that are off-limits. A simple "No. Close that door Now" worked - of course she kept opening it and would look at me and as soon as I said it she'd close it again.....)

With Friends Like These....

We had a great New Year's Eve!

Since we live in view of the Tower of the Americas, where San Antonio's big NYE celebration and fireworks show is held, we usually have a party. This year we were arriving back from 20+ hours of travel on NYE and knew we'd be in no condition for a party. However we didn't want to leave our friends out, so we said to feel free to come and hang out in our backyard for the fireworks, we'd have no food or drink and may be asleep ourselves, but they were welcome. And they took us up on it.

As it turns out we arrived earlier than planned and promptly fell asleep. They all arrived but didn't even know we were there. They came prepared with food and drink for us, we woke up in time to see the fireworks and wish everyone a Happy New Year. Then promptly fell back to sleep ;-) It was fun to have a 'non-party' and not have to do anything!

(I'm cheating with the picture, it's not mine and it's from last year...but you get the idea.)

More from La Vallée de Joux

Ice, Ice and More Ice!

Angelina loooooooves winter, apparently. We went to The Vallée de Joux, where there's a beautiful frozen lake (Lac de Joux). I went ice skating on the lake, while Angelina had tons of fun scooting around on her bum. I've never seen her so happy!

More pictures to come.