What no one tells you....

Sure, everyone told us life as we know it would end. They told us about the all night feeding sessions. They told us about the zillions of dirty nappies. They told us about the crying and the colic and the lack of sleep. They told us our lives would never be the same, and that usually wasn't said with a smile but with an 'oh you're in for it' smirk.

What no one told us... they didn't REALLY tell us how our lives would never be the same. They didn't tell us how utterly and completely we'd fall in love with this little creature. They didn't tell us how that smile she gives us in the morning makes any memory of a night of screaming fade away. They didn't tell us how changing dirty diapers would be so much fun. How she would pick up her legs and wiggle her little bum and laugh away as soon as we put her on the changing table. They didn't tell us how our hearts would melt at the very sight of her sparkling blue eyes and silly grin. They didn't tell us how sleeping next to her, the sound of her soft breathing would give us all a sense of peace as we drifted off to sleep. How she reaches our her hands to us while she sleeps. How her little hands would grab us and hold onto us like a little monkey as she's carried against our chests. How when she reaches up and touches our faces it would bring tears of joy. How when she starts waking up in the morning she stretches her arms and legs like a cat. How when she finishes nursing she purses her lips in the cutest way and pulls her head away.

They didn't tell us about the joy that each day would bring with her in our lives.

No one told us how much our hearts could expand with love. How a heart can feel it's bursting with so much love.

No, our life is not the same. It is better than we ever thought imaginable.

And yes, I am saving this to remind myself of these thoughts when she's 16.....

My Cutie Patootie

We've had 2 weeks of daycare now and she likes it more than I do! On Monday she looks at me with these puppy dog eyes like "where are you going mommy?" But by Friday she barely notices me leave. There are a few other kids there (it's an inhome daycare), and her babysitter says the only time she fusses in when the kids leave the room to take a nap or eat. It's like she loses her audience. She's definitely a social kid!

Her babysitter has also gotten her to take a bottle! Not well, she takes 1-2 oz then stops. She knows I'm coming at lunch, so she seems to take just enough to get the edge off til I arrive. The downside is that she's now reverse cycling. She was sleeping through the night (more or less), but now she's eating more at night to make up for the daytime.So our evenings are spent nursing non-stop, and she's up a few times a night to eat. Since she sleeps with us, that's not as bad as it sounds. She doesn't cry, she just starts smacking her lips. At least she's not starving.




I think she's a monkey. She likes to grab onto our shirts and hold us.

Look at those long arms!

She's still not to sure about this bath thing. At first she cried like crazy. Now she likes it well enough but Papa better not take too long or she starts screaming!

In one of her Irish outfits, this one from Grace's mom and dad, Breandan and Jacintha. Grace was due about 10 days before Angelina, but came 2 days after. She's a cutie too!

Chakapu....

Switzerland and home again!

Every Swiss kid needs a cow!



10 weeks old



Helping mommy study French





Back home, almost 12 weeks old!

Our two little girls

We've had Chakapu for a year now and she's very much at home. Like Angelina, she likes a lot of human contact and she always wants to be where we are in the house. At first she was a little wary of this new creature making lots of noise in the house, now they're great friends (well, that is until Angelina starts pulling Chakapu's tail). Really mostly Chakapu ignores Angelina, she just stays close by.


and playing with Daddy

Angelina takes her first international trip!

She has her US passport, but not the CH one yet. It's valid for 5 yrs, which is good as we don't have to pay again but funny because her picture in 5 yrs will look nothing like her now. She was AMAZING on the flights, both ways. She slept almost the whole 13+hrs, much to the relief of everyone on the plane. She's a born traveller.

We introduced her to her Swiss family and friends and of course she was always the star. Perhaps her favourite was her cousin Megane who, when she was with us, never left Angelina's side. I was wishing we could bring Megane back to the US with us!


But she also made sure her grandpapa remembered her when she left by leaving a huge poop while he was holding her. :)

I just love how she always has her hands over her face when sleeping, like she's saying "leave me alone I want to sleep!"

We went to CH because Frederic had a conference in Grindelwald. This is the view from our hotel room terrace.



And visiting with her new friend Coline, Fredo's god daughter.

And back home!

There are tons more pictures to load up, so check back soon!

And let's not forget Chakapu! She's done fairly well sharing her space with our new arrival. Mostly she ignores Angelina, but occassionally she comes over to find out what all the ruckus is about.

Amazing Angelina

Angelina is growing like mad. Today she's 9 weeks old and as of last week weighed 10.5 lbs! There are days I swear she's gained a pound in an hour. She has more long periods of alertness now, where she just sits and watches the world. She clearly wants to talk and she's definitely showing her strong character! (that's our nice way of saying she's strong willed and sometimes challenging). She's a happy kid most of the time, so we can't complain. Her smiles light up the room already!


"Mommy! Get away from me!"

"Aren't I cute as can be?"

"My favorite position, asleep right next to my food source!"

Don't worry, we didn't leave her wrapped in those blankets,that was just for transfer.

"my other favorite position, with my Papa."
Mommy's favorite position, Angelina asleep on her own!

The wonders of a vacuum, who knew???

I've avoided vacuuming for awhile because Angelina sleeps so restlessly, and is very sensitive to loud noises so I didn't want to disturb her. Not a huge deal since we have wood floors, but it finally got to a point I had to do it. Meantime, Angelina is doing her usual morning fussy bit. I turn on the vacuum, and suddenly she looks up, ahhhs, and immediately calms down. So throughout the day, as soon as she'd fuss, we'd turn on the vacuum. Voila! Silence!

Well, apparently everyone knew this already.

Frederic and I are cracking up and we're all excited about our new discovery. Alas, we're not so original. I later read in the Sears' book this is a common technique. Indeed one woman made a tape recording of a vacuum....Oh well, it works. We'll take it.

Now I have no excuse not to vacuum.

Our little frog

She's doing really well. She's got the hang of breastfeeding, though she's hungry ALL THE TIME. I worried maybe she wasn't getting enough, but she gained more than a pound in the past week so clearly she is. She is now at 8lbs 7oz.


We took her to her first First Friday at Beethoven's and she did wonderfully! I guess she liked the music and the crowds.

The $171,000 baby

Actually it's more....all I can say is thank God we're not one of the thousands in Texas with no health insurance (the state with the highest rate of uninsured or under-insured). The hospital sent us a summary of charges - of which insurance should pay almost 100%. Yup US$171,000! Ouch. And that's not even for the delivery, my stay, OR for any of the MDs' fees! Much of that is the machines used, and the 24/7 1-on-1 nursing care she was getting, the daily x-rays, the drugs....

An interesting twist I guess, as the insurance company, though they claimed to cover homebirth 100%, in fact didn't and we just paid for that in cash. So we were going to save them loads of money but in the end are costing them a lot.

She is of course worth every penny. But I shudder to think what would have happened if we didn't have insurance (and recall the few months I didn't have insurance in grad school and lived in constant fear of having an accident).

I know, I know, you want pictures

update - pics added according to date so scroll down

They will come soon. Frederic has them all and has been too busy to copy them to me, but soon!

Angelina is doing great! She's finally taken to breastfeeding with a vengeance. She's in her 3 week growth spurt and eating non-stop. I'll be curious to see how much weight she's gained next week. She gained 73g in the 4 days between hospital discharge and doc's visit, so that means the feeding is working! I'm in a rare extended sleep break right now...tho it's about to end soon.

Too cute for her own good!

Boobs and Poops..... Feeding Challenges

On Thursday, July 13, she had been doing well for a few days and there hadn't been any changes to her treatments. Her regular doc was away so we asked the doc on call what was up. We were getting impatient at that point. He said all she needs to do is mouth feed. Great! So when can we start that? How about tomorrow? he says. We realised that had we not asked, things would have continued as usual until her regular doc returned.

So we tell the nurse and she's not too thrilled, but doc said so so she agreed, only she said "no" to breastfeeding, claimed they had to be able to measure how much she took, so had to be bottle. That made some sense to us, so we didn't argue. By Sunday, July 16, however, Angelina still wasn't taking more than 20-30mls (1oz) via bottle of the 60mls 'required' and we started to get worried. Her suck was fine, she just didn't like the bottle. Her Saturday nurse suggested next time I try putting her to the breast, just to see. So on Sunday night, we asked the nurse when I could start breastfeeding. "Not til she takes 60mls via bottle 2x/day for a couple of days, then 3x/day, then 4x/day." WTH?! That'd be more than a week before I could even put her to breast! It made no sense, esp given the whole point was breastfeeding, not bottle feeding! But this nurse was no-nonsense, no deviation from standard protocol. That was the one time I finally gave in to despair. The thought of our Angelina being there another week or more, when she was clearly doing much better made me lose it.

On Monday morning I called the hospital's lactation consultant. Smart move. The above was a load of rubbish! They could weigh her before and after if they wanted to know how much she took. So she talked to the nurse and the doctor. By the time I came in at 11am, the nurse said "you can feed her!" Thankfully Holly, my midwife was with me that day, as the LC was away and though I was told 'there are plenty of people around to help with breastfeeding', no one was there and I was on my own. Holly guided me through it, And amazingly, Angelina took to it like a champ.

However, the next few times were rough. Fortunately the LC came by each time to work with us. By Tuesday afternoon, the doc decided it was better to just breastfeed on demand, skip the tube and bottle feedings entirely! Woohoo!!! So beginning Wed am I just stayed at the hospital and fed her whenever she wanted. One nurse commented that I was feeding too frequently (every 2 hrs or less). By now I was more confident of my knowledge and said rubbish! She eats when she's hungry, not on a schedule. And she gained 30g that day! So Thursday her doc said "take her home!"

Moral of the story - Question! Listen to your instincts and trust yourself. Though overall the staff at the hospital were great, for some the idea of going against the status quo was too much. I think they're also not used to parents who 1)are there constantly, 2)are knowledgeable and 3)are willing to question their procedures. I can appreciate their need for a schedule - it's not practical to feed every baby in the nursery on demand. Fortunately her neonatalogist trusted us and let us follow our instincts, else she'd still be there now learning to bottle feed.

Breastfeeding at home was still a challenge. It took us a few more days to get it down right, consistently. But we have, and now she's at it non-stop....

Napping with mommy

The co-sleeper is great! Thanks Angeline and Nico! Though she may outgrow it fast....it allows us to see her and touch her without getting up out of bed, but no worries about anyone rolling too far.

Home where she belongs!

Not only is she totally wireless

our Angelina is now home!!!!!

Pulling off those last tubes and wires was a wondrous occassion!

At 17 days old, her doctors and nurses decided they could part with her
bright shining eyes, pug nose and huge smile and it was time to share
her with the rest of the world, though her proud parents may
keep her all to themselves for a little while.

She's almost completely recovered. Her lungs will take awhile to repair
the damage done by the ventilator, but otherwise she's in excellent
shape. Everything else is perfect. Thank you so much to all for your
kind words, thoughts, and prayers.

Almost wireless!

Just a quickie update. Fredo has loads more photos but hasn't gotten them to me yet. I've been staying at the hospital all day and will be sleeping there tonight with Angelina. She's got ALL her tubes out now, for good! only thing left is the heart/breathing monitor. I can't wait til she's fully wireless. We're just trying to get her feeding well - she's breastfeeding better now, which is why I'm staying there so I can feed on demand. Doc agreed that the nurses' 3hr schedule wasn't working for her. But she's not taking enough (she latches well, but about 50% of the time gives up after a few minutes, the other 50% she stays on and does well for 15 min, so she *can* do it), so I'm adding in some breastmilk via syringe to make sure she gets sufficient amounts. Doc says we just need her feeding enough to send her home, then we can watch her closely. We're hoping the going home day will be Friday, cross your fingers!

Her lungs are as good as they're going to get for now. It'll take awhile for them to fully heal, but she's breathing fine and is alert and active as ever.

Pictures to come soon!