The World

I try to keep this blog about Angelina, or our family, but sometimes the real world enters in and can’t be ignored.

Twenty years ago I was a 19 year old college student studying International Relations, watching world events unfold everywhere, but particularly in China. At the time I had no great fascination with China, but it could hardly be ignored. Chinese students, my generation, kids the same age as me, were doing what is often done in a free country: demonstrating; performing civil disobedience as a means to protest. College students around the world offered our solidarity. But little else.

On June 4 what all feared but still seemed like a total shock, armed troops opened fire on Tiananmen Square. On the morning of June 5, I sat with 2 friends at Café Roma in Isla Vista, drinking my Giant Cappuccino, eating my baguette (as I did nearly every Sunday morning in college….) reading every single page of the New York Times discussing the events. We talked about it for weeks. And then…..we had finals. And we moved on.

What I don’t think I realized then, and has taken me 20 years and a lot of international travel to fully appreciate, is that I could sit in that café, freely discussing the events, I could protest if I wanted and most likely not have to fear for my life, while my Chinese counterparts were losing theirs.

I wonder now if faced with such a situation 20 years ago, could I have had the courage to stand up? And it wasn’t just students, as this article points out, Rickshaw drivers, bus drivers, the poor, they too had the courage to stand. I know I could not today, being a mother, I’ve made a commitment to my child to never do anything to put myself in harm’s way, unless it’s entirely to protect her. But could I have then? I doubt it.

Do I want to think Angelina will have such courage? No. I want to think such courage will never again be necessary for anyone in the world.

Unfortunately, though, as we already saw two years ago in Burma, and today there as well, such events are likely to happen again and again. And as we see in China today, it didn't make much difference.

So instead, what I hope for Angelina is the ability to make a difference. Not by putting herself in harm’s way, but by always seeking to understand what is happening in the world. And then to act in an appropriate and useful manner. I hope we can teach that to her by our own example.

The NYT has been running a number of stories, including reflections on the famous tank photo, which yielded another fascinating story.




On a more personal note, June 1989 also marked a tragedy for my family: our brother Albert died later that month. It’s hard to believe it’s already been 20 years since that he’s been gone. He left a legacy of sorts. One I hope provides valuable lessons to our next generation.

Dora? Who's Dora? Give me Monsters!

Angelina has a love affair with Monsters. Well, it's mostly love with occasional fear. Papa and she always play at being Monsters, which usually involves a towel over their heads and stomping around the house saying "I Am The Monster!" Of course when Mommy does it, she says "No, Mommy. Not like thaaaat!"

Apparently I'm not a very good monster.

Since she likes playing monsters so much, Frédéric wanted to get her the film, Monsters, Inc. He put it on, she settled into her favourite chair, I sat down not really paying attention. Note, I've never seen the film.

Suddenly I hear this bloodcurdling scream like I've never heard before. She was shaking, terrified, her heart was racing. I ranted about "What Papa buys this movie for a 2 yr old?!" He assures me it's funny. Really. Puts it on again (against my judgement) but sits with her.

The result? She loves it. In fact, she loves it so much we've watched it 1,294,865 times. Ok, not really, but if she had her way she'd watch it that much. I limit it to no more than 2x/weekend (and usually not during the week). And that's pretty much all she watches.

She could care less about Dora and Diego now. Who needs them when you can have the big blue monster Sully?

The downside is that though she's not really afraid of monsters, now she thinks about them all the time and goes to bed dreaming of monsters...

Funny Girl

This morning Angelia woke up in a panic, running to me calling "Mommy! Mommy!" like the world was about to end. I ask her what's wrong and she's too upset to say. Instead she leads me slowly to her bedroom. The door is slightly ajar. I wonder if Chakapu is behind it (who sometimes scares her) or a monster (she has this love/fear relationship with monsters now).

I slowly open the door wider.

She points to the floor almost in tears she's so nervous.

It's her sippy cup. Must have fallen off the bed, startled her awake and scared her.

So I pick it up, tell her it's her sippy cup. It's all ok.

She handles it gingerly. "Sippy Cup! There you are!" (I wish you could hear her voice of wonder and amazement)

She crawls back into bed, but I say it's time to get up and have breakfast. So she puts her sippy cup on the ledge, crawls out of bed, and says "Bye bye Sippy Cup! I'll be back soon." in her most endearing-I'm-sad-to-leave-you-alone voice.

Secondary Infertility

Now that I think we’re past it, it’s a good time to talk about it. I hesitated to even consider myself a “secondary infertile” for a couple of reasons:
1) Admitting it might make it “real”
2) Given that I have so many friends struggling with Primary Infertility, I felt guilty even considering this a problem. I had one beautiful child, while so many struggle just for that much, was I just being greedy to want another?

On #2, those same friends were the most supportive and on #1, admitting it allowed me to take action and do something about it. At the very least I could figure out if there was a reason – beyond my advanced maternal age – that I was having a hard time conceiving or keeping a second pregnancy.

Some background – I’ve now been pregnant a total of 5 times. First pregnancy was fairly ease to conceive, but then I miscarried at 12 weeks. However it was clear the fetus never developed beyond 6 weeks and probably never had a heartbeat. Totally random, no genetic basis for it. Second pregnancy I conceived the first time I ovulated after the miscarriage (about 4 months). This was Angelina. Given my age and a desire to have more kids, I didn’t want to wait too long to try again. However breastfeeding produced lactational amenhorrhea (i.e. no ovulating), which is generally a good thing – it means your body is not ready for another yet, until Angelina was 13 months old. Then it took another 4-5 months of trying to conceive, that one was ectopic. Also totally random.

Then another 6 months to conceive. That one also miscarried, this time I was being followed very closely due to the increased ectopic risk, so it was discovered early at 6 weeks. Still potentially totally random, but maybe not. Another 4 months of trying with no luck, I figured it was time to see if there was anything wrong and found a fertility specialist. I was hesitant to ask for recommendations, so I just went with someone who seemed right: an MD with a PhD ;).

It was a wise decision. There was nothing glaringly obvious wrong, but we did a couple of things. First, an Hysterosalpingogram (HSG). This is where they shoot dye up your fallopian tubes to see if they’re clear. This was a particular issue for me, given my prior ectopic. One tube was obviously clear. The other tube, the one which had the egg implanted last year, was not so clear. But it wasn’t obviously blocked either. It looked healthy, which was a good sign.

Next step was a tubal canalization. This procedure is a little more invasive: it involves threading a catheter through your tubes to help flush out any blockages. Due to some insane work issues, I had to postpone this another month. We also kept hoping we’d manage to conceive without the extra effort. The next step would have been fertility drugs, which was acceptable, but I had hoped to not go that route.

So finally went in for the canalization. The procedure involves a local anesthetic, and sometimes, the local “relaxing” opens up the tubes on their own. This is pretty much what happened. The doc started the procedure, then said “That’s it! All Clear! Go home and make a baby!”

After 8 months since the last miscarriage, I’m due on December 25.

But all is not over. Because I’m still considered high risk for an ectopic, and because we don’t know what caused the other miscarriages or what prevented me from conceiving, I went in for daily blood tests at first, then every 2-3 days, then every week. In sum, my hormones are a bit wonky. Not bad, but they need some help. It’s possible this is what caused the miscarriages before. Hence, all the more reason to be glad I went to the specialist who would be monitoring so closely.

At this point, I’m 10.5 weeks pregnant. Still very early, but with the hormone help, seem to be doing ok. I don’t know how long I’ll have to be on the hormones, but it’s all worth it.

All this is a lot more personal information than I usually put on here, but I decided to anyway. I had spent a lot of time on others’ infertility blogs and websites, reading about their experiences. This provided me some guidance and hope, so if anyone out there has been experiencing secondary infertility, I hope our story can provide some hope.

We’re very very excited to be giving Angelina a sibling. She keeps talking about “brother” and “sister” (she wants both). So far I think we only have one in there…..she’s already talking to the baby and kissing my belly. She’s going to be a great, if bossy, big sister.

Bolleyball

Frédéric plays indoor intramural volleyball on Friday nights. Usually we don't go because it's too late for Angelina (who turns into a pumpkin - a scary one! - by about 8PM), but there are a few other kids there from his team. So one night we finally decided to go. Now she's hooked. She always knew he went off to play on Friday nights, but now that she's seen it, she won't stop talking about "Bolleyball."

Every time Frédéric leaves the house she asks if he's going to "Bolleyball" and if not there, "Austia?" (his last trip was to Austria)

However, I don't think we'll be bringing her often. I had a hard time keeping her off the court. She wanted to play.

Rain! And more importantly - Puddles!

It rained this weekend. Again. That's a good thing. We've been in a drought since early last year (not California style drought where it doesn't rain for a year, but Texas style where it's just below average). In any case, until last week we'd seen only a bit of rain. Then last week we had a major downpour. Everything really is bigger in Texas, including the storms.



This weekend, we again got 2 days with major downpours. So we sat on the porch for awhile and listened to the thunder, watching the rain bucket down.



Why let a little rain stop you from having fun?

As you can see, Angelina is not too bothered by Thunderstorms.

A Day at the Beach

We finally managed to drag ourselves to the coast. California this is not. In Texas, they DRIVE ON THE BEACH. Even on the National Seashore. Yes, one time we were camping on the beach only to see massive lorries (like tankers) power down the NATIONAL SEASHORE.

That said, it was still tons of fun. Angelina's been to the beach before in CA, but that was last year and I don't think she remembers it much. She's a fish. She was a little hesitant at first about the water, but within minutes she couldn't get enough of it. I don't have any decent pictures because we both spent so much time in the water with her. We'd get tired, try to come out, she'd get out for a minute and say "Back to the water!"

She loves waves. Other kids were on boogey (boogie?) boards and she was desperate for one. I don't think she's quite big enough for one, but she thought she was. She'd say "I need to go to kids!" and start trying to swim over to them so she could get in on the action.


The second day we went to the bay instead. Not much by way of waves but for me at least that was a good thing: no under current. So she could stand/swim/play without me constantly holding her.

And of course try kite flying.....

The Big Sister

Despite how she looks in this picture, I think Angelina is happy.....

After a couple of years of trying and a few losses, we managed to successfully conceive another baby. It's early days still, and I'm being monitored very closely. However, we had an ultrasound last week which showed a heartbeat so we're feeling very confident (and me - a little sick.....).

Allegrini Baby #2 is set to enter the world on Dec. 25. Given Angelina's due date was July 4, the Allegrini babies apparently have a fondness for holiday births.


(The day I was going to test, she insisted on wearing this shirt. I think she knew. I can't seem to get a new picture with her in the shirt though....)

Swine Flu (H1N1)

No, Angelina doesn't have it, nor do Frederic or I, fortunately, though we did all have flu symptoms a few weeks ago....maybe we're already recovered?

Anyway, don't expect any updates for awhile. Our region is the "epicenter" of this event, and my job of former Pandemic Flu coordinator for the city and now Communicable Disease Manager for my region of the state means working far too hard for awhile. On the plus side, that means Angelina is spending more one on one time with Papa and therefore speaking a lot more French! :)

My professional word on this flu - no need to panic, there is cause to be concerned and vigilant. Like ANY TIME you are sick, you shouldn't go to work/school and infect others.

Fun with Cousins

We've been visiting CA for Nanny's Birthday. Angelina has been in heaven visiting her cousins.

Angelina's Rohr Uncles and Aunts

and Nanny and Opa

It's a rarity for all of us surviving 7 kids to be in the same place at the same time. This occasion was Nanny's 75th Birthday Party


I think you can tell by this picture that we all have very different styles, even though our husbands all claim we're all alike....

♪Singing in the Rain ♪

♪♪♪and Dancing....in the rain! ♪♪♪

So she's not quite Gene Kelly, but she was VERY excited to see the rain (it doesn't rain often here). As soon as it started pouring, Angelina yells "My Umbrella! My Umbrella! Outside!"

And of course she's not content to just watch the rain, she has to stand IN it.

In the biggest puddle.




I had to drag her in, rather unhappy....

More Dance

(she's standing on her potty as her stage)

Dancing Queen

The next adventure

Maison Angelina

Just Call me "Dirt Girl!"

♫"Dirt Pile/Dirt Pile/ Let's Play Dirt Pile!"♫
Yes, she was singing.
"Look Mommy! I'm Queen of the Mountain!"



She is clearly happiest when she's on her dirt pile.




This is what's left of the 12 yards of dirt I bought a few weeks ago for the grass. I'm rapidly making my way through it. Hopefully not too fast for Angelina's sake. This is also the dirt pile of "Mud" fame from last weekend's play.


This weekend I managed to keep her from using water, despite her begging me a million times for "Water! Mommy!" I didn't, however, manage to keep her clothes on. On Friday she sat on the pile, shirtless, and kept pouring dirt over herself.


Today she was content to leave her shirt on, provided she could continue to pour dirt over herself.

Angelina Quotes

"Super Nina!!!" (said quite randomly in the middle of dinner, with her hand shooting up in the air)

With Angelina at the chalkboard, writing:
Angelina: "I'm a scientist!"
Maman: "You're a scientist?"
Angelina: "Yes. I'm a scientist!"
Maman: "Are you a Space Scientist?"
Angelina "Um. Yes!"
Maman: "Are you going to the moon?"
Angelina: "YES!"
Maman: "Will you go to Mars?"
Angelina: "Yes!"

Needless to say, Papa was pleased!

Funny Girl

Where do I start?

First she comes home Miss Cool Chick, all decked out in her shades.





Then she sees what I got for her today (I went to the second hand shop - great stuff! We're finally at the point we actually have to buy clothes for her)

She has this thing about dresses. She sees IT.

Mommy! Put on dress! Dress! Dress!

"Look Mommy, I'm a Princess! A Princess!" As she twirls around in her frilly white dress picking it up as she spins.....



Then she saw there were other dresses. Not quite as frilly, but dresses nonetheless. So she put them on. ON TOP of each dress. Then the Dora bathing suit on top of all that (including the bottoms)

Finally she sees the Easter Bonnet my friend Trudi gave her today. At that point she was less interested in posing, but she insisted on wearing the bonnet for an hour.

The dresses, well, we had to fight to take them off her for bed and finally agreed to let her sleep with the white one.

She goes from naked one day to 4 layers of clothes the next....

More Parties

Sunday was Felice's birthday party at the Kiddie Park. It's been there since 1925 and kind of looks it...but it's a great place. Angelina loved it last year and I was sure she would again.


She did, until about 1 hour into it and Miss Party Girl's weekend of parties finally caught up to her, despite having had a nap before.





But before that point, she had a blast, especially because Papa was taking her on the rides.












A little ice cream makes everything better...











And then we followed up with a trip to Central Market. Angelina has this thing for cows. I guess it's the Swiss in her. She loves cows. The cheese section at Central Market has this cow she always wants to sit on. It's not really meant for kids to sit but they never seem to mind, probably because she's so cute....
She got annoyed when I took the camera out so she's not smiling, but 2 seconds before she was hugging the cow saying "I love my cow! Mooooo! Moooo!"



As for her dress - not really suitable for kiddie park but it's her Party Dress. We are not allowed to go to a party without that dress.

Sprinkler, dirt pile, new grass, and a bunch of kids and a Progessive Party, Lavaca Style

And why I love Lavaca part XXIV

Our new lawn came in handy this weekend.

I'd given up on Angelina taking a nap, so just went for some "quiet" time inside watching Dora, while I went outside to continue pulling weeds. Up walked our neighbor Courtney with her 4 yr old Nico. Nico was looking for some playmates. As Angelina is always in the mood for playmates, I said "Come on in!" but Nico wanted to bring her back to his house. No problem. I wandered over with her, stuck around for a bit then left her.

We were already planning to have Wiley and Felice over for an hour or so a bit later. So Courtney said she'd bring them both back in a bit. Great, more kids usually means I can do more while they entertain each other....

Nico and Angelina wander back, Wiley and Felice come over, they all run off to play. Meantime, some other neighbors walked by. I didn't know them but Courtney did, so they came on in with their two kids. Now we have 6 kids playing. Great! More the merrier.

As the grownups are all talking out front and discussing the merits of old homes, the kids ENTERTAINED themselves by turning on the sprinkler.

What I forgot about was the 12 yards of dirt (maybe it's about 8 yards now) in the back yard. I made my way back to see Wiley rolling wet in the dirt, covered with mud, all the other kids in some form of mud-ness, and Angelina just pulling off her last bit of clothes (her diaper) as she ran through the water and dirt.

In the end we had 6 kids in various states of dress, with Angelina completely naked, running around the yard getting soaked and muddy. The funniest part was the kids kept talking about "The Party!"

So then the kids wanted to play in Wiley's backyard, only his parents weren't home (which is why we had them). No worries, they'd left the house open in case the kids wanted to play there. So we all make our way over. Nico's dad Beto decides we need a beer run. An hour later we're sitting in Rick and Angela's living room having beers, kids running wild, when Rick and Angela walk up :) Nothing like throwing a party in someone else's house.

Not content to end the day just yet, Beto suggests we all head over to their house (where the kids' party started about 1pm that day) for more. About 10pm, some beer, pizza, and lots of good laughs and conversation later, we made it back home :)

I love my neighborhood. Even with all the muddy kids.

And Angelina managed to keep her clothes on the rest of the day.

Mop

This morning Angelina was wandering around calling out to her Cow (she loves cows). In both French and English. She found it.

So a bit later she starts calling out "Eh-ee air! Mop! Where are you?!" After some time we finally figured out the first was "teddy bear." So I took her to Teddy bear. We were scratching our heads at what "Mop" might be.

Then she sees it "Oh Mop! There you are!" Still clueless we waited for her to do something. She finally picked it up - Raggedy Ann. Poor Raggedy Ann didn't know she'd been re-christened "Mop!"

A New Bedroom

Some people prepare a nursery before their kid arrives. We were too busy preparing a bedroom for Maman and Papa. Then a bathroom, and a kitchen, and new foundation, roof, plumbing....


Fortunately Angelina is patient (besides, the longer it took us the longer she got to sleep in OUR room). At almost 3 years old, Angelina finally has a bedroom.

The Helper

No pictures again, because I was too busy working, but oh how I wish I had a camera handy!

Last weekend we laid sod or rather, I laid sod with some help...

In any case, Angelina couldn't stop herself from helping. She has her own wheelbarrow, rake, and shovel. But of course she wants to use the adult version. We did manage to convince her to use her own tools (she'd get frustrated with the big ones). I can't even begin to explain how cute it was to see her filling her wheelbarrow with dirt, dumping it, and raking it out. She was very happy to be part of the process!

Trying out her new airplane seat

Strange child.

She's always hated car seats. As an infant would scream getting into one, all the way while riding, and until she got out. As a toddler, she's accepted her fate but generally isn't much better. Then she learned to unlatch it, usually at 65MPH on I-37.

Unless it's a new car seat not actually installed in the car.
She's been sitting in this seat since it arrived on Thursday.


After fussing with her other car seat on our last airplane trip (it's narrow, but is not possible to wheel onto the plane, so carrying the seat + backpack + wild 2.5 yr old...well....), we decided to buy this folding car seat. It IS great, it folds up and can be easily carried with a strap, backpack style. I still have to carry it, but at least it's maneuverable. Well, except it's also damned heavy. We'll see next month how great it really is, but everyone who has one raves about it. I hope so, as it wasn't cheap. That said, we have yet to actually pay for a car seat since all ours have been hand me downs from Switzerland (in excellent condition)...

Oh, and she MUST have the belt latched, even though she's sitting on the floor in the house. Go figure. She'll probably refuse to latch it in the car.

"Mommy, I want to see Lucian!"

She is such a girl....

Late today, she ripped off her top and insisted on putting on a dress. Not just any dress, but her frilly frouncy Christmas dress.

Once she put it on, the first thing she said was "I want to see
Lucian". Lucian is our friend Gloria's 2 yr old son with whom Angelina occasionally plays. I'm hoping she just associates this dress with one time she played with him, rather than that she got all dressed up because she wants to see a boy.....it's too soon for that.

(of course, about 30 minutes later she also said she wanted to go see Melody, whom she saw the same day she saw Lucian, so maybe it is just the dress associations)

Why I love Lavaca, Part LXIV

Ok, not technically in my neighborhood, but given that it's a hop skip, and jump from home, that people park in my neighborhood to attend, and half my block were participants[1], it's close enough. Last night San Antonio got Lit Luminaria, a festival of art and light.

This is our second go at it, and it was great! I confess I almost didn't go. We all fell asleep for late naps, and when we woke up, I just wasn't in the mood. But Fredo was and so was Angelina, so I decided to join along. I'm glad I did. Since we didn't venture out til past 8:30, we missed a lot of the early performances, but we still had a great show. Angelina LOVED it all.

I loved seeing the symphony perform. We used to go to see them at the Majestic, but it's been awhile. It was a neat environment to see them, sort of "music for the masses" - kids running around, people wandering in and out, but many many people sitting listening, and the musicians looked to be having fun too. And of course, all the other art: visual, performance, literary....very impressive to know we're surrounded by such talent.

That said, I liked last year better. Yes, they tripled the number of artists, but much of the paint/sculpture/installations were in the Convention Center. Probably a good idea given the threat of rain, but the relative quiet of Houston and Broadway was a little disappointing compared to last year, when every type of art imaginable was packed into little alley ways and main streets. You'd turn a corner and feel like you encountered another surprise world. The Convention Center became a gallery, which detracted a bit from the street show which makes it unique. Still, it was amazing. I liked the use of HemisFair Park for film, and the better dispersement of musicians. I loved the light shows everywhere.

Kudos to my adopted city for the enlightened thinking which created this event. And thanks to Mother Nature the cold and rain went away just in time.

[1] I don't have an ounce of artistic blood in me, so I hang around the cool kids and hope I can be artistic by association :)

My Silly Girl

"She misses you. You should go home to her."

Ouch. Plunge a knife into my heart.

I had to go away on Sunday to Del Rio for work. Again. I've been having to go to this border town A. Lot. Far too much.

I try to keep my trips to no more than 2 nights, 1 if I can manage, though this one is 3 nights (and really I should stay 5 but won't).

She doesn't like me leaving, which is funny because when I'm home she only wants Papa. "Mommy, I need Papa" is what I hear every day.

So, tonight, my second night away from her, I'm sitting outside a presentation (I've heard it before, but I have to be here to answer questions), and call Angelina since it's her time. I tell her all sorts of sweet things, talk about missing her, when I'll be home, etc (she asks for me, she also asks for my colleague JJ...so I'm not sure it's just me she misses).

Anyway, all along there's a little girl, maybe 8 yrs old, playing nearby (we were giving the presentation at a school, parents inside, lots of kids playing outside).

After I hung up, the little girl says to me: "She misses you. You should go home."

I say "I have to stay here to work a few more days."

She says "But she misses you."

Ouch, ouch, double ouch!

Ready to Fly!

She must be taking after her GrandMaman Gisele and Papa. She loves being in the cockpit!


Last month of MLK day, we joined Lucian and his Mommy Gloria for a morning at the Kids' Museum. It was a gorgeous day so we rode the bike over, one of the great things about living downtown. Though I was feeling like crud due to allergies from hell which still won't go away, Angelina had a blast playing with the cool stuff and with Lucian. She loves playing with Lucian! We need to do it more. More photos here.